I’ve been hiding. Not sure what to say. Not feeling like myself. Not feeling particularly clever or funny or helpful.
I don’t know that there’s a simple word to describe it, but I guess the closest thing would be grief. Grief is a sneaky thing that so many of us try to avoid. It reminds me of loneliness, which most people are completely terrified of. I think grief and loneliness are closely related. We will do a lot of things to avoid feeling them.
I’ve been scared to be a loud or troublesome or messy griever.
Part of it is that I haven’t been entirely sure of what I’m grieving or when it started, and I certainly don’t know when it’s going to end.
Yes, losing my mother a little over a year ago is the deepest loss I have ever experienced, but woven into that grief is a 51-year-old woman who’s not sure what her identity is these days.
I used to be the fun one, and now I want to go to bed at 8:30 p.m.
I used to have huge hopes and dreams and, if I’m honest, a belief that I would somehow be a household name for all the big, wonderful things I would do in this world. Now I just want peace, community, connection—whatever that may look like, no matter how big or small.
I’ve changed a lot in the 15 years since I started coaching, but I suppose it would be a bit sad if I hadn’t.
Perhaps you’ve changed too.
Maybe you’re unsure of what’s next, what’s truly important to you, and what you want the next chapter or chapters of your life to look like.
While a lot has changed for me, one thing remains true: I believe I’m here on this Earth to help people.
I remain here for you if you feel like working together would provide comfort, clarity and support. I believe we can find our way if we continue to be there for each other and never stop being willing to learn and grow.
Let’s talk if you’re interested in learning how I can help you. But, whether I hear from you or not, if you’re hiding, I encourage you to let yourself be seen. You’re worth it.
