There was a time in my life when I worked hard to avoid being alone. Sure, I was staying busy with seemingly harmless things – friends, shopping, dating, school, work… But there was no stillness. No rest. No time to ask myself some meaningful questions and search inwardly for the answers. I wasn’t consciously avoiding being alone, but I had artfully created a lifestyle that left very little opportunity for alone time.
I did this because I feared there wasn’t a difference between being alone and loneliness.
But, there is a HUGE difference.
Being alone isn’t so bad if you like your own company. It’s possible to feel incredibly connected and peaceful being alone. Spending time alone allows us to check in with ourselves, to see if we like the direction we are going, and to make sure we aren’t just being dragged along by the noise, the demands, the roles we play.
Being lonely, on the other hand, is painful. It hurts. Loneliness rears its head when we are feeling disconnected from ourselves and others. We aren’t immune to loneliness just because we’re in a relationship, have children or stay incredibly busy. In fact, some of the loneliest moments happen when we’re not alone at all.
If you are feeling lonely, that pain is urging you to do something differently in your life. Perhaps you need to take an honest look at your current relationships and activities. Are they providing you with a sense of connection? If not, maybe some of your energy needs to go towards rekindling lost connections or creating new ones. Or, maybe you need to take some time figuring out why you don’t enjoy your own company. You don’t have to remain lonely. But, you need to get really honest about what is really going on.
If you are running scared from being alone, or if you can’t shake a feeling of loneliness, I encourage you to think about the “why” behind it. Wrestle with it. Work on it. Give yourself a chance to love your own company.
Need some support and encouragement as you work on connecting with yourself and others? I am here to help. Book a complimentary call with me here and let’s talk about how we can work together.
